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The Honest Fitness Blogger

Real life. Honest fitness.

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I see a lot of fitness bloggers on Insta. They show eloquently poised food that didn’t have any parents. They’re more flexible than Silly Putty. And they workout more than I work (40 hours a week, give or take).

They try to be relateable. Keyword: TRY. I look at these bloggers and I think to myself, that’s not how life is! Not everyone meal preps. My food is never perfectly portioned out. I don’t track macros, or calories. I don’t workout for 60 minutes straight twice a day. Some weeks I’m proud of myself for running three times that week.

I drink alcohol. My water intake includes three or four La Croix a day. I eat meat. Sometimes, no, many times, processed foods. I LOVE gluten. I enjoy sugar.

I TRY to watch what I eat. I pay attention more to quantity over quality. And I workout because I love to eat and drink stuff that isn’t healthy for me. I’m a real, live, original, unfiltered, honest blogger. I’m healthy-ish. I’m fit-ish. And I’m sure you’ll be able to relate.

 

15 Thoughts I’ve had during spin class

In response to 15 Thoughts of a Fitness Instructor During Spin Class, I’ve decided to write a version of my own: 15 thoughts I’ve had as a rider during a spin class. *Disclaimer: I’ve been to a spin class, just one. NEVER AGAIN. Okay, well, never say never, but I digress. Also this was more than a year ago, so I’m pulling from my memory and slightly fabricating. But give or take, these are close to actual thoughts I had that evening.

Here’s the list:

  1. This can’t be so bad, right? All these suburban moms do it all the time and those sorority girls. I’ll be fine.
  2. Oh, you want my butt to sit on THAT, for HOW LONG?
  3. And there’s weights? WHAT IS THIS.
  4. Okay, not so bad so far…I can do this.
  5. Cool music. The instructor is a tad intense, but I want my ass chewed right now so it’s cool.
  6. Ohhh. Okay. It’s definitely starting to burn now. I see why people do this. Yeah, it hurts.
  7. My ass hurts more doe…Can I sta-we’re standing now? Cool. Oh back dow-fuuuddggee. My ass hurts so much. *a tear may or may not have crawled down my cheek.
  8. Turn up? No. Turn down. All the way down. I can’t do this.
  9. Now we’re doing what now? My body doesn’t move like that. You either get me riding hard or doing push-ups. You don’t get both.
  10. Grab the weights? You want me to lift weight while I spin? fine. Okay. Let’s try this.
  11. One fell. Thank God. I’m locked in and can’t reach it. Guess I’m doing 5 lbs now.
  12. Speed up again? Dude no I can’t. It burns. A LOT.
  13. Why is that girl not sweating? WHY IS THAT GUY NOT SWEATING? What are y’all, cyborgs? I’m drenched.
  14. Is this over yet? Why does the cool down feel more intense? I gave you everything dude; I’m done.
  15. Well I’m kinda stuck here now. I live here. I am one with the bike.
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pic from said evening. Lync Cycling

The ABCs of Summer Marathon Training.

thedancingrunner

The title explains it all…

A- Acclimate to the summer temps. I know, this is much easier said than done. It does take time and consistency in order to really feel comfortable with the heat and humidity. Sooner or later you will be rocking those runs and pushing the pace a bit. Not to worry. Just stay at it it and try not to get too discouraged with how “slow you feel”

B- Bring a spibelt/flipbelt/pockets with zippers on them for the long run. You will definitely need this when it is time to refuel with your energy gels, salt tablets etc. I love to carry my Camelbak hydration pack in the summer because it has a ton of compartments where I stash my keys, fuel etc. Certainly comes in handy.

C- Carry water/electrolytes on super hot days. This should go without saying. Or…carry your credit card with you so…

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31 Thoughts I had during my run streak

If you remember, a month ago I posted how I was doing a run streak for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society through my good friend, Vinnie. And I was nervous about it because around that time I had a dull pain in my right ankle. I was worried it was my Achilles (I’m no doctor ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ), but after some research I decided it was just tendonitis inside my ankle. Still, I wanted to take things easy. I just needed to do a mile each day; I had no plan of going much further than that. And with that I give you 31 thoughts I had throughout these last 31 days. Side note: I totally forgot July had 31 days and was ready to be done yesterday…Embarrassing.

  1. Alright, let’s do this! Month long streak, leggo.
  2. I’m feeling super healthy. Look at me!
  3. I’m gonna die.
  4. I’m doing two miles rather than one, that means I can eat more food, right?
  5. I’m dying.
  6. I’m dead.
  7. Shit. I bet hell is cooler than this.
  8. My ankle! I wanna quit. No. I have the ability to run, people going through chemo may not. I have to do this for them.
  9. It’s hot.
  10. Fuck it’s hot.
  11. It’s really fucking hot!
  12. Cheese and rice I am tired of the stupid treadmill.
  13. Can we just get some rain already?
  14. The devil just left a big pile of shit on us.
  15. He’s literally here running with us, permeating the air.
  16. I’ve made a huge mistake.
  17. Fuck off, Satan!
  18. Fuck this. I earned that whole pizza.
  19. Being a woman sucks ass.
  20. EVERYTHING HURTS.
  21. I want to kill anything that moves.
  22. Running for those who can’t. Running for those who can’t. Keep going.
  23. Almost finished. This is the longest streak you’ve done. Be proud.
  24. Why did I sign up for this?
  25. I may be in pain, but it’s nothing compared to chemo.
  26. Someone has to be living vicariously through me, right? I hope so…
  27. Okay, you can do this, Victoria. You’re strong.
  28. Nice and easy. No need to press on further than what you’re doing.
  29. Slow and steady wins the race, til truth and talent take their place. It’s okay, Imma be slow.
  30. Fucking plantar fasciitis!!! I’m over this.
  31. Fuck yeah! I did it!

Thanks for reading. If you ever thought about doing a run streak, I highly suggest it. It pushes you. It makes you think. It makes you stronger. It makes you grateful and humble. It can push you past your limit; you can see how far you can really go.

Get uncomfortable. Go beyond the threshold you thought you had. And as always, find a reason to a run.

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5 Reasons to get Goodr

Within the past several months I’ve learned of this company. They make sunglasses for runners. As a runner, I thought, “Man I need a pair!” To try them out, for reasons. I’ve been trying to cut back on spending so I was waiting it out. Then we ran out (I work at a running specialty store). Then when we got them in again, I was cutting back on my spending, again. Then when I was ready to buy, we were out again. This happened several times. We got a new shipment in and there was a new color. I had reward points at the store so I used them. BEST $5 I EVER SPENT.

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I’ve ran with regular sunglasses before. Shit don’t work well on long runs. They slide down. They get super sweaty. You know how it goes. These babies are different!

  1. They’re polar-bears. The dudes and dudettes who make these know their shit. Polarized lenses. Fuck yeah.
  2. They stay on your face. These little fuckers don’t move! They stick to your face like a thigh to a leather car seat on a hot summer’s day.
  3. They have cool names. I have “Nessy’s Midnight Orgy.” A few other names to give you a taste are Swedish Meatball Hangover, Sunbathing with Wizards, and Major Tom’s Space Odditea.
  4. They’re affordable. A guy came into the store the other day talking about how his son wanted (insert highfalutin name brand here). I don’t blame him. Good name. Good quality. But high price. We informed the man about this new up and coming brand and their price; his eyes lit up like a teenager in an alleyway. $25.
  5. I’m not normally one for swearing to a brand. In the past I cherished my free sunglasses from marketing booths at events. Goodr is better.

 

My Streak to Remember

Speed is relative. Success is relative. Failure is relative.

We need to stop saying things such as, “I was so slow. I only ran a 7:30 pace,” or “I just ran six miles,” or even, “I only worked out three times this week.” It’s all relative, and we need to be cognizant of those around us. We need to be other-oriented. Instead of, “I was so slow. I only ran a 7:30 pace,” try, “I was so slow for me.” Rather than, “I just ran six miles,” use, “I ran six miles!” And take out “only,” so it’s now, “I worked out three times this week!” Continue reading “My Streak to Remember”

That time I was a vegetarian for a week

“That is the most millennial thing I’ve ever heard you say!” My friend, Haylie, laughed at me after I told her I was “doing vegetarian for a week.” BBQ was out of the question for dinner. We settled on a place where I ended up ordering a PB&J sandwich. It was delicious, by the way.

Last week I had vowed to be a vegetarian for 7 days, to try it out, see how I felt, see if I could do it, and then log my findings. I lasted 5. So, technically speaking, I was vegetarian for a work week.

It wasn’t as hard to go meatless for those five days. There were always plenty of options to avoid meat. At Chipotle I had the sofritas. I had a cheese pizza, no meats. Pasta. Runner’s nutrition…As you might be able to infer from those few items, I wasn’t exactly extra healthy. I found in my journey to avoid meat, I was supplementing that lack of protein with dairy and carbs. If you’ve read my old post, I am lactose intolerant. Not the best plan.

By Saturday I was excited that I only had to do it for two more days. Then I went to the racetrack with some friends. That’s where I saw it, er, smelled it. A delectable, smoked sausage, calling my name. After my friend ordered one, I sighed in defeat and ordered as well. Let me tell you, I don’t regret that decision in the slightest. What I do regret is the events that followed the rest of the day: Nachos. Corn dog. Beer. Lots of pizza with chicken (and obviously more dairy). It’s almost as though I hate my insides that I want them, and myself to suffer.

That’s a lot of food for anyone. That’s a lot of food for someone who shouldn’t be eating that type of food and had spent a while weaning themselves off of it. I faced the consequences today.

For lunch I had a chicken salad sandwich from 7/11 and some Funyuns. Then for dinner I had cereal with almond milk. No lactose this time. If you’re ever in a bind and find yourself at a 7/11, the sandwich is actually pretty good. Just don’t look at the nutritional information.

I felt bad about my recent food choices. I bought fruit and spinach to make shakes for breakfast this week. And ground turkey and vegetables, with some pasta, for dinner. I think I’ll stay away from red meats, but not all meats. And I’ll definitely be cognizant of the amount of dairy and carbs I intake.

To those of you are self-proclaimed, “carnivores,” maybe add some vegetables for your heart health. To those of you who maintain a balance lifestyle, I say carry on. To those of you who continuously live a vegetarian or vegan lifestyle, you have my respect. To those of you who think I’m a terrible person because I choose to eat animals, I have no words. I pray that you find peace and solitude?

That time I tried to run with the elites

A few weeks back I was at the Run On! and Shake Shack social run. I met these dudes. They were all runners. But not just runners, they were fast runners, really fast. Way faster than I could ever go, though I feel on a track I could compete. 200 meters of less. I got it.

Back to the story:

The dudes, they were all a part of this group called Nomad Running Society. Essentially, they’re all former collegiate runners who want to share their passion with the community. You can read more about them on the Nomad website.

I began following them on Instagram, and I noticed that they have social runs on Sunday mornings. I have been meaning to go to check it out, but I was either out of town racing or going to church. Last night I made the executive decision to go to the church of the long run with the group. I’m sure God will forgive me.

When I first walked up, there were just a few people. They all seemed friendly enough. I met two women who claimed they ran slow. Thank God, I thought to myself. I had never run with the Nomads, but I had done my research. They’re freaking fast.

As more people showed up, the intimidation factor exponentially grew as the minutes passed. All of these people looked like fast runners. I knew I couldn’t compete, but I was assured I was welcome.

It was chilly. I was wearing shorts, but had a light jacket over my shirt. I should have taken it off before the run, but we all make dumb mistakes every now and then.

Everyone took off and I followed suit. The elites were out of sight within five minutes. Gazelles they were. Beautiful gazelles running across the lands of our ancestors. National Geographic could have made a special…And then there was me, trotting along in the back behind the “slow” people. I didn’t mind. I’ve accepted the fact the speed is relative. And as long as I’m out there, I’m lapping the people still in bed, or on the couch.

I ended up doing 10K, averaging at a 10:06 pace, according to Strava. Not bad for me. When you dig into the details, I let my aspirations get the best of me. I took off way too fast. My first mile was 8:21. The next several miles were slower, and slower still, even going up to 11:00 at mile four.

I don’t know if it was the cute little ducks that inspired me, or the thought of everyone getting back before me even though I ran less, but a match was lit and I sped it up toward the end. I was sweaty and gross. I was sooo ready for the beer that was promised.

There were two options: some IPA I don’t remember the name of, frankly because I don’t like them, and Vape Tricks by Prairie Artisan Ales. I’m a big fan of sours, so the choice was obvious. I had never had it until today. It was refreshing, especially after running. I recommend it. I skipped on the donuts. I regret that decision.

Long story short, I ran six miles to drink a beer at 8 in the morning on a Sunday. I wonder if Jesus likes sours…